
Jennifer Ayer: Boy that's a good question. Girls are developing faster than boys, but we also know their confidence drop is bigger, too. But they also have more difficulties sometimes with three dimensional reasoning than the boys. Girls have an easier time being organized earlier than boys, and so some tasks of middle school are easier for girls than boys. They're often taller, they're starting to develop breasts, getting their period, and the boys often still look like elementary school students. Jennifer Ayer: Girls hit puberty earlier than the boys, and they also tend to be able to think abstractly earlier than the boys. A time when girls often feel uncomfortable with the rapid changes they're going through and in which their development really diverges from boys substantially. And it is a time of maximum awkwardness, I would say. Jennifer Ayer: Middle school is such a crucial time in a girl's life. What is going on during those years that’s so unique? Rachel Thomas: Jennifer, one of the things I find really interesting is that you’ve decided to focus just on girls and just on middle school. Our confidence often is never as high again as that of men. Girls lose 30% of their confidence, and in many cases, we never get it back.

Starting at about age 8, there is a plummet-literally of 30%-between the ages of 8 and 12. What's going on?Ĭlaire Shipman: What we found in our research is that the confidence gap between boys and girls really starts at puberty. But all of that starts to change as kids grow up. Rachel Thomas: Claire, in your book you write that before age eight, girls and boys are equally confident-there's almost no difference between the two.

Rachel Thomas: Let’s dive in and learn more about the middle-school confidence drop and what we can do about it. That means you’ll hear me jump from expert to expert, but you’ll get all of their best material on each topic grouped together. Because we covered so much ground, we’ve organized my questions and their answers by theme. Rachel Thomas: We covered a lot of ground together, from how to help girls step outside their comfort zones to how they can say what they really mean to their friends. Tevera runs a program that helps KIPP grads transition to college and then into their careers.Īnd finally, Jennifer Ayer, who runs a great progressive middle school for girls right here in Palo Alto fittingly called Girls Middle School. Tevera Stith, who works for KIPP, a network of charter schools in underserved communities. Rachel Simmons, founder of an amazing organization called Girls Leadership and author of “Odd Girl Out.” Rachel Thomas: I sat down with four experts:Ĭlaire Shipman, journalist and author of the best-selling book, “The Confidence Code for Girls.” I wanted to know what we as parents, but not just parents, but all of us who love the girls in our lives-can do to help our girls be their best, most confident, and most resilient selves. Rachel Thomas: As the head of Lean In-and the mother of an 11-year-old girl, Haley-this frankly terrifies me, and I’m guessing it terrifies everyone else listening, as well. Rachel Thomas: Here’s something everyone with a daughter should know-and I remember the first time I heard this it just stuck with me, and has stuck with me ever since-between elementary school and high school, girls experience a big drop in confidence, and far bigger than what boys experience. I’m your host Rachel Thomas, co-founder and president of Lean In. Each week we explore the uneven playing field-the gender bias that lurks in unexpected places, the impact it has on our everyday lives, and what happens when women lean in and start driving change.

Rachel Thomas: Welcome to Tilted, a Lean In Podcast. Girl 5: My mom always tells me not to be so hard on myself, but then she’s hard on herself. Girl 4: I don’t like it when people interrupt me because it makes me feel like I’m not important enough to be heard. Girl 3: There was a time when my mom told me that my face was shaped like an oval and it made me lose confidence because I felt like I wasn’t pretty. And that it's important to reward the people who are working really hard and not just the people who are naturally gifted. Girl 2: I wish my dance teacher would know that a lot of people are working really hard. I still struggle with math confidence today. Girl 1: A moment when I lost confidence was when I got a bad grade on my math test.
